What Makes Someone A Hero

A lot of the news I learn about I read on the Internet. For some reason watching the news on television depresses me more than reading it does. Some of the news I read pertains to movie/television stars, athletes, singers, etc. Many of the articles I read call these celebrities "heroes" because of their acting "talents" or because they give or raise money for a specific charity or cause.

This made me think about a quote I once read; "Heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences." I really like this definition and consider it to be an accurate description of what truly makes someone a hero!

It is true that many celebrities have good acting skills or they can give of their time when needed or they can give millions of dollars to a charity but what do they really do that makes them a hero? They may perform in a play or a made-for-tv movie that raises awareness of a particular social problem. They can hold fundraisers relying on the help of their fellow celebrities to raise the money they need to show support for their choice of charity or they can ask their accountants to write them a check. I don't think of a celebrity as hero at all. They are just a person who is in a position to raise awareness or give or raise money for a specific charity or cause if they choose to do so.

I believe a hero is a person who, as the quote above states, does what they have to do when they have to do it, no matter what the consequences are. Instead of choosing to either look for the bad or become bad due to circumstances in their life, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they have chosen to become better people who see the good in others! For instance police officers, fire fighters, EMTs, doctors, and nurses place their lives in jeopardy every day in order to save the life of another person. Police officers face the possibility of being shot to death, fire fighters could die in a fire while EMTs, doctors and nurses face the possibility of contracting diseases that could ultimately kill them. Yet, in spite of these dangers, they have educated themselves on the risks involved and still choose to remain in their professions.

If I had to choose a person in history who I believe was/is a hero, I would choose Anne Frank. When she was a teenager; her country was going through WWII. Due to her ethnicity she and others were endanger of being killed because of a man's twisted thoughts that anyone who was Jewish wasn't fit to live. Anne, her family and others had to hide in an attic. For two years she, her family and the others had only each other to rely on. Everyday, she lived in fear that she and the rest of her group would be found, sent to a concentration camp and eventually die. While in the attic, Anne kept a diary. She wrote down her thoughts and her feelings. She wrote about her fears of not growing up to become an adult, not  being able to get married or raise a family. In spite of what she was living through she remained positive, optimistic and hopeful about the future. She held on to her belief that "In spite of everything I truly believe that people are good at heart." If I had been the one who was going through all the horrors that Anne, her family and the others faced I don't know if I could have been as strong!

There are people in my life that I consider to be heroes, not because they are perfect but because in the face of adversity they are still  good people! The woman who adopted me who I refer to as my "real mother" is a hero to me. She was born in Germany during the nineteen thirties. She lived during and survived WWII. One of her sisters died at the age of six. She lived in fear that she and her family might die and her home was destroyed by bombs. My mother left her family, friends and everything she knew, in Germany, because she wanted her children to have a better life than what she had. She came to this country by boat in nineteen fifty-two. She did not know the English language, she did not know anyone other than my father, and she only had an eighth grade education. This did not stop her from "doing what she had to do", as she puts it. She learned the English language, which she says was no easy task. She learned how to drive so she did not have to rely on others. She worked, full-time in order to manage a home, and at that time, raise two children, put food on the table and clothes on their back's. She worked as a nurse's aid in a hospital and then worked in an institution where she met me, a child with a developmental disability, when I was three years old. In 1977 she adopted me and fought to place me into a regular school, because she realized I had been misdiagnosed and that I had the capability to learn just like any other child. She has faced whatever life has thrown at her. Through it all, she has maintained a positive outlook on life and has never given up hope that things will work out in the end! That is why I consider her a hero!

One of my best friends went through a lot of physical and sexual abuse as a child while another one of my best friends was abused by a former spouse. Each of these woman could have grown up or become bitter, angry and resentful. They could have become just as abusive toward others as their abusers were to them, but they haven't. They could blame others for the abuse they suffered, but they don't. Each of my best friend's career's involves working with people who have developmental disabilities (This is a population where many types of abuse can and does occur because of the vulnerable circumstances the people of this population have been placed in). My best friends work hard to help people with developmental disabilities live happy, productive and fulfilling lives! Both women have come to terms with what they have gone through and instead of just giving up on people and life, they have persevered!  My best friends are thoughtful, kind, caring, giving, compassionate, strong and wise women! My life would not be the same without either one of them! I would not be the same without either one of them!

I think what I am trying to say is a person doesn't have to be glamorous, a genius, an athlete, a singer, a movie/television star or a millionaire to be a hero. For me, the only thing a person has to do to be defined as a hero is to come through the bad, whatever life has thrown their way, and still be a good, caring and compassionate person who sees and brings out the good in others and the world around them!

"And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on,
and you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive.
So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you"

~  From the song "Hero" sung by Mariah Carey

Happy New Year One And All & A Few Resolutions

Since this is the beginning of a brand new year I thought I would talk about my New Year's resolution(s).

The first resolution is more work related :I am going to try very hard not to be as hard on myself when I make mistakes. Along with this I am also going to try not to always "second guess" myself. Which will not be an easy task for me because I seem to make more mistakes at work, both professionally and personally, than I do at home. When it comes to second guessing myself it is usually because a co-worker or my supervisor does not agree with how I am either saying or doing something. So, I try to please that person instead of remembering you can't please everyone all the time. I have become friends with some of my co-workers and some of these friends I have come to think of as my best friends. So, whenever I make a mistake whether I said or did something I know I shouldn't have or someone is disagree with me either because they are right or because they are taking their bad moods out on me, I feel very bad because I have upset or hurt my friends in some way. I don't know how I will succeed with this resolution but never the less I will try.

My second resolution is this: I am going to try very hard not to let others make me feel inferior to them without my consent. This is an on going battle for me both professionally and personally. I have had former social workers tell me that I would fail at whatever I want to accomplish (i.e. going to college) and at times I believed them. I have had co-workers who have said to a male co-worker they were trying to impress: "I think I am the prettiest woman on our team" Once they saw the look of hurt on my face (because I believed we were becoming friends) then they realized they opened their mouth and inserted their foot. So they tried to "fix it" by saying "I mean you are pretty too, I think all of the woman on our team are." I try to remember that those co-workers were much younger than me and they may be really insecure about themselves so they try to make others feel insecure. It isn't always easy to swallow it and just let it go because, to me, words hurt so much more than a punch or a slap and can leave lasting scars on one's self-esteem! Do I believe that I am pretty - not alt all. I have always known that I was born with plain looks but have always believed that didn't mean I wasn't a good person so I made up for it in this way. I am by no means perfect! I wouldn't want to be because I think my life would be very dull if I were. I know I am not the prettiest, or thinnest, most desirable, sexiest or the smartest woman in my workplace! However, I do try to treat others with respect and dignity and even though sometimes I want to lay into that person for saying some really hurtful things. I don't because then that would make me no better then they are! Besides, I happen to like myself, most of the time, for who I am!

Many years ago a classmate in college gave me this poem and I think after listing my New Year's resolution(s) it is fitting to end my blog entry with it:

You do not need to be loved at the cost of yourself,

The only relationship that is truly central in life,
 Is a relationship with yourself.

It is rewarding to find someone you like,
But it is essential to like yourself.
It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being,
But it is indispensable to view yourself that way.

It is a delight to find people worthy of respect, admiration and love.

For you cannot live in someone else.

Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose or leave.

TO THE QUESTION OF YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE THE ANSWER!

TO THE PROBLEMS OF YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE THE SOLUTION!

~ Author Unknown ~